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Tom Sizemore

(The title of this piece contains no truth whatsoever)

This week’s official dispatch from the Scene Magazine Comedy Affairs Desk is brought to you by KITCH. Home of the famous $5 menu, and Bloordale’s BEST Goddamn nachos! It’s also the home of live standup comedy EVERY Thursday night. But the readers of this fine rag are already well aware.

Spring officially kicks off this weekend, in the city of smoke. And while we wait to rejoice in the warm weather and suckle at the teet of Mother Nature, basking in her honey glow, we can at least warm our hearts. With FREE Pro/Am comedy from some of our city’s finest. American character actor Tom Sizemore *dropped by last week  has this to say about KITCH – and had this to say!

*Comedy Editor’s note: No he 100% did not say any of this, all a printed lie.

“Spring is all about love. Love and warmth, brother. Like banging your favorite girl, in a bathtub filled with speed, sparkling wine (the good cheap shit from Kroger) and the sweat sweet smell of sex and regret. Just make sure you blast outside the porcelain, brother. No one wants to get hit with their own f*ck shrapnel” – T.S (as written on the back of a sheet of mascara-streaked toilet paper with the distinct aroma of Brut cologne and menthols)

Well Mr. Sizemore, you’ve hit the nail on the head! KITCH Komedy is all about love and warmth. And comedy. And nachos. And beer. Mostly comedy though… Our weekly showcase of Canadian comedy turns 3 this season! And here are a few highlights from over the years (a taste of what you might expect this Thursday)

1) DEAN YOUNG (me) once hosted Kitch in his (mine) gitch. Don’t let it deter you!

2) The kid from Jerry Maguire may or may not have passed our during our show one time in 2013

3) I turned 30 at this show, and hosted a roast. And I mostly didn’t even cry!

4) Regular audience members have included members of a death metal duo, an entire Simpsons trivia team, and local bands from jam spaces all over the neighborhood

5) At this show I’ve randomly reconnected with an elementary school friend I haven’t seen in 20 years, met my agent, and (most importantly probably) met my fiancee here!

6) FACT! KITCH is owned by the same food and drink dream team behind The Starving Artist, where the Thursday show originally started back in early 2010. So you know the food is ridiculously good, crazy cheap Toronto bar gourmet!  

7) KITCH was one of the first ever sponsors of @TALKHOLEpod, Canada’s own comedy podcast network!

Here’s what KITCH looked like when we launched back in the sweet, sexy and sweltering summer of 2012… 

KITCH retroKITCH photomay12Kitch_intro


And – HERE we are in 2015! 

Live @ KITCHmay12Kitch5Kitch1


This week’s lineup is stacked with the heaviest of heavy hitters and KITCH favorites! ALI HASSAN (CBC Laugh Out Loud, George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight) JEFF PAUL (Yuk Yuks, Icebreakers Comedy Festival) JARRETT CAMPBELL (Dark Comedy Festival, Rude Dudes podcast) plus SARA STARKMAN DAN GUIRY MATT GASS +MORE! And as always, LOTTO spots. Sweet, weird (sometimes uncomfortable and always unpredictable) LOTTO spots. Yours for the trying, aspiring comics and friends!

As always you can find our weekly lineup on the Twitterverse @KITCHKomedy and like us on the Facebook for weekly show updates and more right here: 


See you next (this) Thursday! 


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