Getting FUBAR with Deaner and Nightseeker
Last April a shitstorm blew through Ottawa, and its name was Hurricane Deaner. Mavericks Bar was a victim of the Dean and his heavy metal band Nightseeker. It was by far the rowdiest show I have ever been too, and that’s saying something.
Fists were flying remorselessly and beer cans buzzed over the top of the crowd like WWII dive-bombers, splashing the metal militia with the golden nectar of the gods. Some YouTube famous white guy opened the show with his hit “Out for a rip bud” (at the time it was just past being popular). B-Rich, as he calls himself, apparently met up with Deaner the night before in Toronto and was invited to the capital for a secret appearance. He invited Deaner out on stage and immediately the white-washed rappers gained the attention of the masses as everyone’s favourite mullet tried to keep up with the lyrics and busted out his heaviest rap move, the running man.
After the opening shenanigans had concluded, the crowd was finally drunk enough for some good tunes. Nightseeker dawned on the stage and from then on all hell broke loose. The energy in the room was beyond palpable and never once did it falter. Nightseeker played all night, to the point where they were just replaying songs they had already done because the crowd would not let them leave the stage.
The most excellent moment of the evening from Satan’s wet dreams was between two songs when the guitarist started slowly chugging power cords and singing in his beautiful falsetto voice “Deaner needs a shotgun, Deaner needs a shotgun!” Our hero disappeared from the stage and came back presenting a beer to the crowd like he was Rafiki from the Lion King. As the crowd cheered the entire band joined into the party bridge. As the riff started to build to a climax Deaner lifted his right hand high in the air to show a knife, or some kind of multi-utility tool, and with the crash of the downbeat he struck. But not hard enough. Another build up, “Deaner needs a shotgun, Deaner needs a shotgun, Deaner needs a shotgun!” Another swing and a miss. As Deaner looked out over the audience he could tell, they were ready. One final build and just as he reached the point of no return Deaner’s knife (or tool) wielding hand ruptured the beer followed by a greasy pair of lips chugging the sweet life juice down. The front row got sprayed and they loved it.
After the legendary set concluded with encore after encore after encore, I had the pleasure to talk to the Dean himself about tunes, the infamous FUBAR movies, and what every man should have in his fanny pack. He noticed I was empty handed, passed me a pilsner, and the interview began.
So Deaner, what’s your favourite part about touring with your band?
Oh the fuckin’ best part is basically drinking for free and being able to giv’er ‘til 6am and people don’t tell you that its wrong people just encourage you to do it. They tell you that it’s the right thing to do so you’re just basically following your nose an you just get right to the fuckin’ trough of pilsner every night and you just giv’er ‘til you bleed.
Hell yeah man. How was the show in Ottawa tonight?
It was good man, like expectations were way the fuck up there ‘cause last year we played St. Patty’s day and it was a sold out show, just nuts, and tonight man it was just off the hook. People just wouldn’t leave, they wouldn’t let us get off the stage. It was really cool.
What do you think is the movie based on you or are you based on the movie?
Oh the movie is definitely based on us. Without us there’s no fuckin’ movie you know? Uh so ya like they’re lucky to have us for sure.
What does FUBAR mean to you Deaner?
FUBAR means Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition. It means like, you get to that point when you just can’t take it anymore but you keep on going. Somehow you’re still on your feet even after you’ve taken everything you can take. You’re still givn’er.
Fuckin’ right man. What should every man have in his fanny pack?
Uh well every man’s gotta have some kind of a knife, or a tool with a knife on it. Ideally you’d have a knife and also like a multi-tool but I like to keep just the knife. You gotta have a pack of smokes, you gotta have at least a couple of papers, you don’t have to fill it up with the actual pack of papers but a couple of them in there. Obviously some domes, uhh I like to put in like a stick of gum or two, just in case you meet the right lady. Um and you know them little airport bottles of scotch? That’s a fuckin’ lifesaver. You know you wake up at 9am and you’re just not capable to function some days, that’s just the fuckin’ best kind of medicine ever.
What’s next? What’s next for the Dean?
We’re gonna be recording, ya. We’re recording our own song. It’s called “The Nightseeker”
When you’ve lost your wayyyyy,
Can’t keep evil at bay.
Callin’ on The Nightseekuhhh,