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KITCHES Love Ali Hassan!

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Of Monsters and Men

This official memo from the Scene Magazine comedy desk comes to you by way of Iceland. The kingdom of elves and fire, wind and ice. Iceland’s main exports are natural elements that James Taylor has seen and then listed in his songs. And Bjork. And ashtrays made out of elf hands. There’s a lot of elf poaching here, and it’s unfortunate.

My first 72 to hours in this strange little island paradise have been a wild introduction. I’ve ridden Icelandic horses (ponies, let’s be real). I know nothing about horses except that they taste delicious in a crowded retail outlet when you’re trying to pick out the right Scandinavian filing cabinet. And one time in high school I saw a video of a girl on the internet fucking a horse, and believe you me. THAT was a full sized horse. By the end, that poor girl looked like a house fire that 10 Peter Norths tried to put out

The moment I stepped off the plane I was rushed over to a Reykjavik radio station to plug my gig on the Iceland Comedy Festival. Then there was some Forever Young podcasting at the infamous KEX Hostel, home of the Iceland Airwaves festival (thanks to my chums over at KEXP Seattle for the word up on that one). We performed on the Iceland Comedy Festival. Who KNEW that was a thing! And who knew how fun Reykjavik audiences would be! I even asked them if the Disney classic from my boyhood ¨D2: The Mighty Ducks Are Back¨ was lying about the prowess of Icelandic hockey players and they were all like, ¨yeah that’s not really a thing we’re into here¨. A-Ha! I knew it all along. 

And, I even sipped white Russians at the Lebowski Bar. Yes, a Big Lebowski themed bar. So don’t be surprised 10 days from now if I announce that I’m making Reykjavik my new home base for the TALKHOLE podcast network. It could happen.

(PHOTO NORMALLY INCLUDED HERE BUT I’M IN ICELAND, LEAVE ME ALONE)

 

But, the KITCH must go on. So while I’m here in another timezone, on another continent, in the kingdom of fables and fantasy, fast friend of the show and room favorite ALI HASSAN will be runnin’ that KITCH. While I’m busy Bjorking all over the place, snorting lines of volcano ash off of the hip bones of naked trolls (and trying very hard not to peep that Troll Puss, I hear bad things) our cult classic lineup continues on the KITCH stage.

Ali Hassan

Yeah that’s right, and we’re award nominated too. N.B.D, buds

You Scenesters might know our guest host Ali Hassan from a little Canadian television program called George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight. Or maybe you’ve peeped his affable yet wicked sharp comedy waxings on the CBC Radio. Or onstage at Just For Laughs? Look, I can go on all damn day listing Hassan’s credits. But I don’t have all damn day. I have whale to eat. Yeah that’s right, go PETA yourselves.

Your best bet? Catch Hassan in all his hosting glory (he’s very fun!) and stay for the famous $5 menu. Not to mention Bloordale’s best Goddamn nachos. Then, check out our lineup. As always, this week is shit stacked to the match with Toronto’s top crowd killers, and special guests dropping in from across the Great White North. And for some reason, its FREE!?! And we do this EVERY. DAMN. WEEK.

Do you know how POOR I am and how EXPENSIVE Iceland is??? You’re killin’ me. Get your KITCH on, or you will offend both me and my Nordic gods.

(ANOTHER PHOTO NORMALLY INCLUDED HERE BUT I’M ON VACATION)

THURSDAY JULY 31 features DOM PARE TIM GOLDEN AL VAL MATT COLLINS SCOTT BELFORD ADAM JAMAL + MORE! PLUS Lotto! Plus (of course) Ali Hassan.   

 

 

The Scene