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Dean Comes From the Land of the Ice & Snow

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After 11 days exploring the strange & surreal Elf Kingdom that is Iceland, Dean Young is BACK! Ah, it’s good to be home. Who needs all that crisp, clean, North Atlantic air when you can fill your lungs with the sweet sweat-soaked musk of a Toronto subway car during afternoon rush hour! And what’s endless acres of vivid moss-strewn lava fields, black sand beaches, azure blue hot springs and lush green foothills dotted with roving sheep, when you can feast your eyes on the hip young things of Queen West – with their adorable little ‘Dope’ hats and #Yolo tanks.

Toronto my love, ours is a marriage of patience!

But oh the things I did in Iceland, my stars! I ate whale. Suck it, communists! I rode an Icelandic horse, twice. Two of them (once each). My girlfriend kept calling them ponies and pissing off the horse people, because horse people in Iceland are much like horse people in Canada, who are much like cat people everywhere – weird and crazy. Batsh*t crazy. What else… I dunno. Waterfalls and shit. Glaciers er whatever. I drank Brennivin which is like Icelandic absynthe and I had wierd nightmares about volcanoes, and possibly a sex dream about the Travelocity gnome. OH, and I saw a weird painting where a lady was peeing into a fountain. Full on whizzing, rockin’ bare Icelandic puss and all! Paris Hilton style. Scandinavian art is very severe. Plus I appeared on Icelandic national radio to promote the Iceland Comedy Festival, and made fun of Norwegians and said the word ¨bullshit¨ live on the air. Why? Because I’m what the Icelandic sagas would refer to as a ¨bjaller ass pimp¨! 

And no, asshats. I did NOT see Bjork. As hilarious as that is. Asking me that every 5 minutes since I came back is basically the ¨hey, you were in Iceland?¨ equivalent to people making Rob Ford jokes whenever I tell them I’m from Toronto.

But now here I am, back in Toronto. Where even the cocaine isn’t as white as the snow in Iceland, or even as white as cocaine (I assume, but I’m really just guessing for the sake of my prose). Where the tap water tastes like bottled water but only because bottled water is actually just tap water. (In Iceland, tap water tastes like what bottled water is supposed to taste like, based on the picture on the bottle, because that’s where they take the pictures to put on the bottles of bottled water, and that’s how pure their tap water is, because it comes from there. It’s so pure you could bottle it) Like the great American actor Richard Kind once remarked, ¨if they could bottle it, they would make a million dollars¨ (he was talking about the air in Minnesota, and it was in a Coen bros movie but still you get the drift)

Anyways, my favorite thing about being back in sunny Toronto is that its time again to host KITCH Komedy! Yes, Scenesters, its KITCH Komedy time. Every Thursday. With comedy. At KITCH (229 Geary Ave, Duff + Dupont)

Featuring the best of the best from Toronto and beyond. Top touring crowd killers, upcoming young headliners, and even a few comedy virgins we sacrifice to the lambs. Er wait, the lions. Sorry, I ate a lot of lamb in Iceland too. See, not just whale. Oh, I also ate reindeer. But that was in pate form so really it was more like salty nutella. Plus I’m enthnically 60% Finnish, so its in my blood. Moreso if my family is descended from Northern Finland but I have no f*cking idea at time of writing.

Anyways, we’re getting off point here. Join us this Thursday for one of Toronto’s cult favorite Pro/Am comedy shows! KITCH Komedy is even award nom-nom-nominated. Yup!

And it’s hosted by me, the 60% ethnically Finnish Canadian globetrotting Jay Peterman of dick jokes!

This Thursday at KITCH features the likes of TROY STARK! BLAYNE SMITH! CALVIN STOROSCHUK! MICHELLE CHRISTINE! FRANCO NGUYEN! JAMES HAMILTON!  And as always a special guest appearance by AND MORE!