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BLUE JEANS MILK MACHINE

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Milkman Mr. Show

 (Bob Odenkirk in a traditional Milkingman’s frock)

This week at KITCH Komedy we celebrate the wonders of human milk and the miracle of modern life. Of course, that’s just one of the wonderful things your refined and pasteurized host Dean Young (MTV, CBC, This Actual Magazine) will be talking to you about. Others might include Pineapples. Elves. Whale Meat. Bjork. Other life fluids… um, Des Moines. The sky really is the limit (actually 11pm is also the limit because that’s the time when the show ends). Some folk comes to KITCH for the nachos. Some folk comes to KITCH for the $5 menu of food (not alcohol. Alcohol is regular though affordably priced, clean your act up. You’re a vicious drunk, Susan!)

But most folk comes to KITCH for the “K”omedy (comedy). Especially on Thursdays. Well actually only on Thursdays. In fact, if you hear that there’s another Komedy show happening at KITCH on any other day, we need you to run to a smart phone immediately and Tweet it at @KITCHkomedy so your boy Dean (this magazine) can go there and do what we like to call ¨clapping those motherfuckers out¨. I wouldn’t use violence or even verbal harrassment, but I WOULD drop a ‘Yo Mama’ joke so unbelievably sick and indeed tight, that Wilmer Valderrama would be following me around for a week going “OHHHH!! OHHHH!!”

(If you don’t remember the short lived mid-2000s MTV show I’m talkin’ bout, you can take a big chunky chug of my expired reference juice and leave the froth around your mouth afterwards)

Anyways right now it feels like two Silverback Gorillas lost in the depths of a bath salts nightmare ripped my brain out of my skull, flattened it over a boulder like pizza dough and took turns making savage unprotected sex to it, pounding the parietal lobe into the consistency of Colgate. Basically, I have a headache. Radio is the cause and mass quantities of black coffee and high grade electric nicotine is the only antidote. And so I must take my leave.

Our lineup this Thursday night at KITCH Komedy includes adult human professionals such as NILE SEGUIN (The Hour, Just for Laughs) JARRETT CAMPBELL (Dark Comedy Festival) ZABRINA CHEVANNES (George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight) WOJTEK ARCIZEWSKI (Jackie Kashian’s Dork Forest LIVE) MIKEY KOLBERG (That Was Great!) JESSE OWENS (Yuk Yuks, Absolute) DAVE CODE (Comedy Cabaret)   + MORE!

**Maybe a special guest or two? Hey, stranger milks things have been milked happened!