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Homosexual Tendencies

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Dear Karen,

My husband and I have been married for 16 years. In the last few years theres been a steep decline in our sexual relations. I suppose thats how marriage goes over time.

Last week I logged into our home computer and saw that he had left a few windows open. To my amazement I found a number of gay porn videos.

I checked the history in the computer and it looks like hes downloaded a lot of gay porn over the last year.

He doesnt think I know much about computers and I rarely log on. I left everything the way it was and havent mentioned anything to him yet.

Should I be worried that perhaps hes got a flare for other men? Should I approach him about this or just let it go for now?

Other than that life has been fairly normal and hes not doing anything else suspicious that Ive noticed. Im worried that my 20 year son could find out. Luckily he doesnt live at home right now.

Thanks,

Linda K

 


 

Dear Linda K:

I could understand perhaps if your husband was looking at one or two gay porn sites out of curiosity, or accidentally stumbled upon them while searching for straight porn sites; however, since you found so many in the history of his computer, Im thinking something more may be up.

I think that there are not many straight men who would enjoy watching gay porn, unless they have the inkling of this desire themselves.

Your husband sounds potentially bi-sexual or even gay.

The fact that there hasnt been any sex in your relationship could be an indicator that he may be acting on those desires. If he is playing around behind your back, your health may be in jeopardy, to say the least.

He may not want to tell you the truth because hiding is part of his fun. Have a serious one-on-one with him. Confront the issue head on. I would rather know the truth than to be lied to. If he is gay or bi-sexual, I dont think anything you can say or do at this point, including marital counseling could help. It may be just who he really is.

Karen